Look Outward

I've been thinking a lot about everything that's gone on this transfer and how I ever got to this point in my mission. I remember thinking at times I wouldn't even make it a day let alone six months, a year and so forth. And to now be where I am (8 weeks left), sometimes I can only think of my fears of what's to come. Living in the moment is a blessing. Thinking about the future is a nightmare....my mission President told me in interviews to focus on what I can control and everything else would fall into place and to start making plans for when I'm home. -ugh....

Monday I lost my debit card....talk about living a nightmare...but yet all I could think was to pray. I knew Heavenly Father would help, for only he knew where it was. Tuesday, I found it, right before bed. It was in my bag, between a bunch of pass along cards...don't ask how it got there. I searched my bag 3-4 times, until I found it.

This week they announced the open house for the Fort Collins temple in August!!! Whatever it take, I'm going to come back for it (rode trip with Sister Helsing and some others) And what better way to celebrate my birth month!

Tuesday our phone stopped working, basically the mission office reassigned our number to someone else and we had a phone that had no service. And since we are roaming here in Nebraska we had to meet the AP's in Sidney on Saturday and get our phone. Which was a blessing. Talk about a crazy day. My companion isn't used to not seeing other missionaries daily. Saturday, we met the AP's, had lunch with the Sidney sisters, and our district leader let us into their church building to do area calls. So we saw 8 missionaries total. 4 companionships. It was nice to see my companion happy. I also got a package from the Henries and look, it's a blow up Elephant 🐘

Sunday we had branch council, we didn't have a lot of things to report on, our branch council members keep good tabs on us through out the week which is nice. At the very end of the meeting I felt I should check the phone, one of the less actives we just met Wednesday night, sent us a text telling us her son and daughter would be at church. I then invited everyone still in the room to welcome them back. It was a very tender moment seeing them walk in the church building.

District meeting was so good this week!! Funny part was Sister Helsing popping my back. The spirit was so strong! It's not been an easy 5 weeks, but if it was easy it wouldn't be worth it...but I have felt and seen myself grow so much! Being an hour drive to the closet next set of missionaries and not being able to talk to family or friends has truly left me with only Heavenly Father to turn to. Yes, I have a companion, but there are some things that you just can't talk to others about. I've seen so many answers to prayers. I've seen myself look more outward to help others than ever before (last two weeks ...I could have been better but overall). I've seen little catch phrases get stuck in my head to help me keep going. Here are some below

"Its not where you live but how..." - Forgotten Carols

"Feel so hopeless I want to scream...one who understands" -Nashville tribute band

"Hold on thy way" -Nashville tribute band

"Christ is aware of his girls!" -Sister Bair

Sometimes life just feels so crazy, other times everything seems to be so right. This transfer I've felt I have to be the "strong one" many of you know I'm not very strong, others have seen me cry more this transfer than ever before....but let me tell you even with everything going on in the mission field I've never felt Heavenly Fathers love for me so strong. I know He is there. I know He knows us. He loves us! I realized this week that I don't have to be "the strong one" Christ is that for each of us. It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel weak, but in those moments we need to turn to Christ.

This week I saw the need for me to look outward. I saw my need to look to my fellow man and love and serve them. Which sometimes I struggle with. Let me say it's good to be wanted, but it feels better to be needed. I don't know why I'm here in Alliance, Nebraska but I know I have a purpose in being here. Even if I wasn't at Brooke's baptism Saturday (which I wanted so badly to be at) I know God has a purpose in where he has placed me. It's been really neat even if I've spent just 5 weeks planting seeds, or nourishing them. It's the Lords work and either way it's moving forward.

Today (Monday) Sister Bair, one of the most amazing people I know here did our make up. It was nice to not have to do it myself.